I think I know why - it's either one thing or another. The first possibility
1. I can't bake and share right now. If you haven't caught on by now, I've been baking like a fool and have been encouraged to start what may be my next career - cupcakes for a living. It sounds crazy - but it has been a blast learning new recipes and sharing them with my friends, and even making some $$ from them. But M started off with a funky few spots on Friday night, and by Saturday and continuing on, we discovered that she has Hand Foot and Mouth disease. It sounds gross, and it is gross, and apparently she doesn't have the worst case of it. The bumps/rashes are EVERYWHERE, but not in her mouth (which typically characterizes a horrible bout of it). But nonetheless, it still looks gross. Almost so gross that J and I don't want to touch her. So gross that we wash our hands EVERY time we touch her or something she's been touching. So gross that at the end of the morning or day, I pack up all of the toys she has been playing with and store them away for a DEEEEEEP detox cleaning that night with a powerful soak of "germ-be-gone." So gross, that I'm pretty sure that if someone offered me a cupcake from their house when they had been dealing with HFM, I wouldn't want to even have it near me. So, in an effort to save my friends from HFM and gaining a few more inches on their waist, no cupcakes. By the weekend, however, we should be in total clearance (really, we're clear after today since she would have actually had the disease for a week now, but just to be safe, I'm calling off baking this week).
And, since this new found love of baking has been my defense mechanism and coping skill over the last month or so, I'm bummed.
But doubtful that no baking would actually cause me to turn into a sea of despair, I'm banking that this is the cause of my down and outs today:
2. People are hurting. Everywhere. And I can't do anything about it. Another friend of mine just experienced a miscarriage. One girl is experiencing the
Perhaps I'm feeling a little overload of sadness for all of them today...
God doesn't hurt us on purpose, right? God loves us, right? So then why do we suffer like this, and why did he pick us to suffer in that particular way? Because God loves us.
I've been reminded of the truth of those answers over the last month in my study in the word of 1 & 2 Peter especially when we're reminded of our suffering and how it brings glory to God and how we, as believers, are called to suffer. For, through the suffering, we gain a knowledge of our Father that we wouldn't have otherwise. We grow stronger and deeper in our faith. We learn to call on Him to heal us and our wounds. We become His children. Such a transformation to go from bummed and depressed and doubtful, to filled with grace, overflowing with love, and perfected in our weakness. Blessed to know the Living God today and to trust in those promises and to know that my "living on the edge" isn't the way I live in the light of joy -
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