Friday, January 20, 2012

I'm bored

Yep - in almost 5 years of marriage (and 18 months within that of being a mom) I think I can finally say "I'm bored."  I need something to occupy me. I can't read too much because it makes me sleepy and I fall asleep and one thing I don't want to do is fall asleep (it makes night time sleep impossible!)
I've tried watching tv, but on the 8 channels of cable that we get, all I seem to pick up is Jerry Springer, the Nate Berkus show, an episode of the Cosby Show, and some updates on the weather. blah.
Don't get me wrong, I love my rest, but I'm really just lonely.  Miriam isn't around for 4-8 hours each day b/c she's at preschool and at the sitters or napping.  J is gone from 7 (at the latest) until at least 5 or 6 every day.  It's just quiet.
So today, I've been blogging - well, I guess blog reading.  I've found quite some interesting stories, posts, and cool ideas.  One blog I read was a girl who faithfully kept up with her pregnancy weeks, which I never did, so here is my attempt:

Pregnancy Highlights:
How Far Along: 30 Weeks
Size of baby: Lydia should be about the size of a head of cabbage, but we have reason to believe she's still closer to an artichoke
Total Weight Gain/Loss: Gained 14 lbs(I'm now in a season where I'm losing weight?! I ate 4 - yes 4 - cupcakes since Monday and I lost a pound?!?! Too bad that "diet" program doesn't last forever!
Maternity Clothes: I wear some maternity pants and tops, but relish in the fact that I can still wear my skinny jeans and a lot of regular tops.
Movement: Since I've been lying down a good portion of the day, this baby NEVER sleeps! She does karate 24/7 in my belly!
Sleep: Eh, it comes and goes!  I haven't slept for more than 3 hours at a time - getting ready to be on the nursing schedule I guess?
What I miss: Funny enough, I miss people touching my belly - they did like crazy with Miriam (and it drove me crazy) but very few folks extend the hands this time.
Cravings: Concession stand nachos and cheese and muffins in the morning.  Can't live without a glass of OJ in the a.m., and a wonderful seedless navel orange to split with Miriam in the afternoons.
Symptoms: ABout 3 weeks ago, I would have said every symptom in the book for 3rd trimester pregnancy.  Thankfully, all but Braxton Hicks have gone away. I have several BH a day, sometimes several in an hour, but the bed rest and drinking water helps tremendously!
Best Moment this week: Hearing from a test that we have a strong chance of at least 2 more weeks and I haven't dilated anymore since Monday.

Too bad I didn't keep up with this all the way through either pregnancy.  They both have been so very different, I'm sure it'd be interesting to compare.
I haven't been good at taking the pictures either - but I finally got one this week. I'm starting to realize that these are my last pictures before I'm no longer prego.
I know that this time with Miriam, I had gained at least 5-7 more pounds, and I think it's obvious in the picture.  Check this out - it might make you laugh!
With Miriam at 30 weeks, right after my morning walk
With Lydia at 30 weeks, after finally getting dressed for the first time in days!
It's funny how you carry so differently, but still "measure" the same. 

Can't wait to blog more about other people's blogs, now that I have all the time in the world! Ha.

Have a great weekend!

Monday, January 16, 2012

January 16

This has been a crazy day! A day that I have anticipated since Thanksgiving, and a day I'd never thought I'd experience the way I have in my entire life for two reasons:
1.  Today I was put on strict bed rest, after discovering that last Thursday I was starting to efface and today have dilated a slight bit (just a fingertip, so not a whole lot, but nonetheless, more than one would desire to do so at this early in the game - just barely 30 weeks!).  I had a hard time over the weekend, accepting the fact that I'd be on the couch for the next 0-10 weeks, but the more I rest, the more time I feel I can bide to keep Lydia snug and warm on the inside.  The doctor had true concern last Thursday - which scared me - but seemed less worried today and was more encouraging.  He did, however, change his projected goal of 36 weeks to now 34 weeks (that's how far Miriam was before her birth)...and anything after that is "icing" - I'm praying for a loaded iced cake at this point (watch Lydia come at like 43 weeks!!).
2. As of this evening, my resignation is official. Jeremy and I made this difficult decision at Thanksgiving, shared it with those who needed to know professionally at the beginning of December, and have lived "in secret" ever since. Thankful for the busyness of the holidays to help keep it in, but it was so difficult to be excited about this new change and at the same time reserved so not even our closest friends and family knew about it.  The session met at 7 p.m. this evening to make this all official, and if it goes as planned, my ending date is February 29 (36 weeks....).  I have felt like we've been hiding something so big, and now, it's finally out.  I've been working at this church for almost 7 years - it's been our lifestyle, our worship place, and where we have met some folks and become quite close with many of them.  I can't believe we're about to experience such a change of events.

Jeremy and I are THRILLED beyond measure that the Lord has worked in the ways that he has, but especially by providing this new job last Spring.  We will definitely take a pay cut, no doubt, and we'll be raising our expenses, and we'll be playing it each month by the penny for sure - but I know the Lord will provide and give resources when they are needed most, and it will be an excellent opportunity for us to learn dependence, trust, and faith in him through all things.

And those "all things" begins even today as I spent my day on the couch, thinking, reading, writing, and working.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

a hard week

It's been such a hard week in all facets of life - emotionally draining, physically exhausting, mentally tiring, and spiritually challenging.  I've been more emotional this week than I have in quite some time, for a couple of reasons, I'm sure, but it just hit today why I may be so choked up.  Work has had its share of emotional, physical, mental and spiritual challenges and I'm coming to grips with a lot of that as we plan to make the adjustment of having 2 children and not just one, plus full time ministry.  Of course, other reasons too....

This pregnancy really has been so difficult. Compared to the one with Miriam, like night and day.  The doctors have been super cautious, my sweet BUSY 18 month old wears on me at all times, and it seems many complications have followed my path.  I think I finally came to terms today for the first time that this could be our last pregnancy. And I cried.

More than likely, my body may not be able to sustain another pregnancy without being super high risk (I was "minimal" risk at the start of this go around, but turning into the high risk case since 26 weeks).  Apparently, I'm already starting to make my way towards labor and that's why I'm on bedrest.  And obviously, the subsequent pregnancies can do that since your body is a little weaker in some areas.  And I'm not sure that's going to be recommended for us.

When thinking of this, I got sad that I may be enduring the last 4-10 weeks of pregnancy in my life - and that almost crushes me. Not to mention, I'll be enjoying those weeks lying down on the couch or in the bed, and hopefully not on medications!

I'm praying for renewed grace, rest, and thankfulness to overflow in my cup so that I can rejoice where I am right now, even if it is on the couch (although praying it doesn't get moved to the hospital bed!!).  I want to take in every moment of my time with Miriam and treasure it, and take in every movement in my womb of Lydia and treasure it to. Lord, help me find the ways to do just that in the week ahead.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Meal planning

So, my new years resolutions aren't doing too shabby so far (granted, it IS only day 9 of the first month....), but  I'm focusing this month on meal planning. While I should have picked a better month, I figure if I get in the habit, something is bound to stick.
So, the Monday after Christmas, we sat down, planned meals and created the shopping list. We packed Miriam up for a morning of shipping and we went grocery shopping for the month. At Bilo, Aldi and was totally worth the traveling and all of the stops...and spent just under $200 (for the month! - with the exception of purchasing 1 gallon of milk every 4-6 days, bananas (1 for each day)).  This would feed all of us for breakfast, Miriam and me for lunch, and all of us for dinner, allowing one night a week to go out to dinner.  These are our dinner meals:
1. Minestrone soup (originally planned to make one batch and freeze half, but plans changed and we had company that ate our intended frozen batch...)
2 & 3. White Chicken Chili
4 & 5. Cream Cheese Italian Chicken - Jeremy's favorite crock pot recipe
6. Turkey spaghetti
7 & 8. Shrimp Scampi
9 & 10. homemade pizza
11-13. breakfast (pancakes or waffles, grits, and sausage)
14. Poppyseed chicken casserole
15. regular chili beans
16. Bowtie chicken pasta
17. BBQ chicken
18. lasagna hamburger helper
19. Chicken Soft tacos (a new crock pot recipe)
20. Tilapia with yellow rice/peas
21 & 22. Black eyed peas and collards

Of course, there is the occasional bowl of cereal, pb&j, or "snacks" for dinner...but I think we fared pretty well with the purchases. So far, since we bought our goods (Dec 26), we've only made 2 trips to the store (for the milk & bananas), and only eaten out twice.
Saturday, we choose CookOut and all 3 of us ate for under $11.

So, not only are we eating better, but saving $$ too....
however, this grand idea might be thwarted a bit when I'm bedrest - but like I told J...these are meals that a 5 yr old could make - there's NO REASON why he can't fix them :)