Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Press On

Okay okay...I'm sorry - but I have tons of reasons why it's been as long as it has!
1-Vacation before the 2 biggest weeks in my life in the summer is not the best of ideas. You come back all relaxed, only to get more uptight. And then you get to run around like a chicken and look all kookoo and people laugh at you. At least, that's what has happened to me since our glorious 9 day trip to the beach.
2-I became an aunt again - so playing Aunt Manni is much sweeter with a newborn. She spent too much time in the NICU, but is now at home. And now, playing "aunt manni" to the oldest, Grace, is a full-time job this week. She's staying with me and "Uncle Jeremy" for the week to give her mom and dad some rest at home with the baby. We went from no babies, to having a 6.5 yr old - interesting. Apparently, my meat is "chewy," I make the bestest boston cream pie toaster strudels, and my stories are good. Nice....
3-2 busy weeks essentially away from the office don't lend much time to type out my thoughts - first it was the missions trip to Atlanta - Jeremy and I led the trip with 6 middle school girls, and 3 freshmen girls this year. This was our second time on the trip, and everything was great! We ministered to about 16 children (all under age 12) and a few moms. Oh yeah - there was very little English spoken! Have you ever tried sharing the story about Moses, the Pharaoh and the 10 Plagues in English to children who couldn't understand you? Or better yet, try to put all of that in another language?? It had its share of difficulties, but we had a great time!
4-VBS - I've been singing Crocodile Dock songs for the past 48 hours!We're having a blast and still have 2 days left. But VBS calls for early (and I mean 5:30-6 a.m. early) mornings, and the feeling of being "rushed" for 3 consecutive hours, and then in a moment's time, ultimate silence. It's always a busy week, but I love to see the kids have sooooo much fun!
5-Our computer fried. I thought my sister messed it up a few days before mom passed away - but she only "temporarily" did still worked. Until, after vacation....poof. No more. So, working at home is completely out of the question. Soon, I should post the conversation I had with the comporium lady on why or why not I should cancel my cable dsl since we didn't have a computer to use the internet on. That will provide some entertainment I'm sure of it!

I really could go on and on, but that just lets you know what the past month has been like...busy. But I haven't stopped either - until this morning for a brief second. On the way to the church, Grace, in the back seat, asked me "Did you try to do everything you could to save Nana?" Upon my response of "Yes, everything we could"...she continued. Apparently, to her, our "everything" wouldn't have been her "everything". Then, I had to explain why mom had always wanted it the way she did, having a DNR sign posted above her bed. I told her that mom had never wanted to live if she couldn't live for herself. She didn't want to be helped by any machine, or be cared for like a vegetable. Although, she experienced both of those, it was easy to see why that wasn't her choice. That just wouldn't have been mom. Grace actually accepted that answer, and didn't continue with her "whys" like she normally does, and then was quiet the rest of the drive to the church. The whole way, I was remembering some of those last days with mom, and how I longed to hear her make those grunting sounds when she breathed, just to know she was alive, and how she had her eyes slightly opened for the hours I serenaded her on my violin before her death, and the night it took me only 2 min to drive the normal 5 min trip to the house when she spoke some of her last words, and that same night how I stayed awake at her bedside, reading countless verses and passages of Scripture to find comfort. What a season of life!

A family friend of ours just experienced a similar loss. His wife of probably 40-50 some years passed away in a rather quick manner. She was healthy and fine, then thought she had some type of bronchitis of sorts, only to be rushed to the hospital to find out she had lung cancer, and several other cancers completely destroying her body. I think they gave her a few weeks and were going to comfort her with some radiation, but they knew there was nothing they could do to "save" her. Before some of her family got to see her, her life passed in an instant. When I heard this, I just weeped. I weeped for her, the husband, the family that was there, the family that couldn't make it, and for the upcoming days for them. When we went to the visitation, I looked over to the lady, lying sweetly in her bed, dressed in a pink gown and robe, having met Jesus. And these words came to mind:

"See me someday sleeping softly, flowers draped across my bed, hear the cries of friends and family, missing me. Press on. I always thought while I was sleeping that I could somehow fly away, run and leap into the open make my getaway. Press on. So I'll fly up in to heaven, meet my Jesus at the throne, he will welcome the weary, so press on. Believers, press on....and I know there's a reason, I am not afraid to die. So I'll fly up in to heaven, meet my Jesus at the throne. He will say that I am welcome, so press on." (Robinella, Press On - thanks Ellie!)

Mom sang that song, the lady sang the song, and I sing it to - will you?