Friday, December 2, 2011

Swimmy head

I really can't think straight. Some people claim blonde brain, some claim motherhood, and some claim pregnancy....I think I just claim busyness.  I am SOOOOO thankful for my 2 days off work this week, but I just jumped right back into the way of the world over the past 3 days (you got that right, I didn't get my usual Friday off this week...). My steno notepad is bursting with listed lines of things needing to be accomplished at the church, the house has potential every second to look like a wreck, I have desires for "upgrading" the house before Lydia moves in, and there are relationships to maintain and nurture that so easily fall to the side.  Oh yeah, I have a husband, and a quite needy/teething with all of her molars and 2 canines toddler. So maybe I should just claim my swimmy head on life?
But I don't tell the truth necessarily.  Some afternoons, I relish in the 2-4 (or sometimes up to 5!) p.m. nap that Miriam takes and how I'm "forced" to stay at the house.  And we're totally spoiled by the fact that she's like clock work and by 8 p.m., she's been laid in her crib and is off to sleep in a jiff.  That's when I zone out.  I am trying to be more productive during those times instead of just sleeping or lounging (which I'm sure I'll be doing my share of sooner than later anyway) but it can be hard.
I've used nap times this week for scrapbook, crafting, trying to catch up with some of those wayside friends, journaling, and spending quiet time with the Lord.   My family is at a crossroads in these days, and I am so desperate for the guidance and discernment he provides when we do seek him.
I was preparing to teach a study on I Samuel this week (the last 4 or 5 chapters) and came across this line in the book when referring to David and his ways of dealing with the Lord:  "David learned an old lesson when he turned again to God for encouragement and strength and sought his counsel.  Thereafter, the Lord became his rock, his fortress, and his shield.  We too can find this in waiting on Goad as David did.  We too must seek our strength in the Lord.  And we too often learn this lesson through many trials and repeated failure to trust God."

So in my swimminess I'm challenged by David's example to seek after those things....and be convicted at my mistrust in my God, my Father, and my Provider.


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