Restless

It's days like today that I'm a little restless. There are a few dates that I will always remember, and Aug 23 is certainly one of them. It used to be that it was the day that I started school, then it was the day I'd normally move into college. But far more important than that, it's mom's birthday. Around our house, mom's day was a big deal, as it should have been. But since she has passed, Aug 23 is just "normal" I guess. Last year, with a due date of Aug 18 w/Miriam, we though how cool it would be (then) if she came late and landed on mom's bday. how crazy would that have been - a mom look-a-like born on the same day!?! But, Miriam had other plans and came 7 weeks prior (and now I think I can say that with a "thankfully" in it).
This year, I didn't even psyche myself up for it. In fact, it wasn't written in my calendar, and I didn't think about it anytime prior...until this morning.
Today, Miriam got tubes put in her ears to hopefully help with those rascally ears of hers. When signing her in the surgery center at 6:15 (AM!!!), I looked at my watch for the date and time and immediately said - ooh, I gotta call mom and wish her a happy birthday. J just kind of looked at me, and I caught myself mid-sentence too. Funny how "normal" it is without her, so much so that I reach to call her on the phone. After that point, I was a little sad and bummed - I knew I couldn't chat with mom today, and it just stirred up some of the restlessness that reappears in times when I miss her so.

Sometimes I hate that our life has become so "normal" without her. But at the same time, I'm glad that we've been able to press forward and continue moving on in life, with sweet memories, and moments like I had today. Even though I couldn't call, I still remember my sweet momma today and am so thankful for her birth 58 years ago today. oooga boooga.